You are my biggest weakness

I hate looking back at what’s happened ,
I hate seeing you & wanting to talk ,
I hate it when you look at me like you have something to say ,
I hate being reminded of you by every song that I listen to ,
I hate seeing other couples loved up & thinking of what we could have had ,
I hate that you didn’t give me a chance to prove how much I love you ,
I hate how you through it all away ,
Though it’s still not too late , after everything you’ve put me through ,
I hate that I wasn’t even with you & you still broke my heart .
I never had you yet I feel as though I have lost you forever .
I’m slowly fading away ,
& what hurts the most is that you know you’re killing me ,
But you’re still letting me die , you could have saved me .
Why can’t you see what you mean to me,
Why can’t you see that I’m so weak without you ?
When you look away I feel the pain from deep inside ,
I know we’ll never be anything ,
Because you don’t want it that way ,
Just for once , please just try and understand,
There’s a girl who loves you with all her heart ,
Please just this once , don’t break me.
Don’t make me cry myself to sleep tonight ,
Keep me awake smiling thinking of you .
Just this once smile at me when you see me ,
I may not get a chance like this again ,
You might go and I’ll always look back with hurt ,
You know you’re special to me but you’re still letting it go .
My eyes are tired of crying ,
My heart is tired of hurting
& my mind is tired of thinking .
I can’t go on like this ,
Its just as painful if not more painful than knowing you don’t feel the same .
I’m ill ; you’re my biggest weakness,
If only you could see me now ,
I just wonder if you’d think different ,
Or if you’d just laugh – just like the world does .
This is the last chance I’m giving you ,
This is the last chance you have to mend my broken heart,
The last chance you have to make me smile , please do ,
Let me remember you as the one that made me smile and took away my pain ,
Don’t allow me to look back thinking you were the one that made me cry ,
The one that put a stop to my life ,
….I love you, but you don’t care….

My heart is not a playground

i have always been running fast , faster even fastest , and put my steps slow , slower and slowest to stand beside you . But you have never looked back & run slower .
0001 : it was the beginning of this love
0010 : it was the most painful event ever when you told me that all the feelings are fakes .
0011 : you tried to correct your mistakes
0100  : you did regret correcting your mistakes and ask me to let you go .
When i wanna go , you always say i have never treasured for what you have done .
when you wanna go , i think you shouldnt say what you have said when i wanna go .

so dear my heart , pls fall in love to a right person , you have been had enough this time ,
In 0010 , there was a girl who always wanna slide from the top to slide you down to the ground .
in 0100 , there is another girl who plays the see saw with you to let you stuck on the top position so that you can never get off from it . but she helped you to get off from the see saw and gave you a rose with the thorns on it .

my heart is not a playground , no matter what mistakes i have done , i have done what i should have done . although you have never tried to stand on my position to look at one of so many games that they have been playing on the playground .

so dear heart , get out from the playground
dont let the girl keep sliding you down to the ground
and dont let the other girl killing you slowly by the rose thorns